holy shit? is this the first post?
facts about guru.
-someone pointed out that guru tastes like melted and carbonated gummi bears.
it's true.
-i just pulled one out of my fridge, and the can is squishy.
very disconcerting.
-they're veegz.
-the diet one tastes gross.
sucralose is fucking gross.
diet anything is sickittating.
-gurus are the only energy drink that i drink.
-because i read bad celebrity gossip blogs, drinking energy drinks makes me feel like a starlet with a hangover. ah, the semiotics of capitalism.
-sometimes i drink them instead of eating food.
-they don't make me crash like coffee does.
remind me of the signs of ginseng overdose in a few months.
-i have never seen any of these other cockamamie flavours.
'juicy'? 'full on'? come on, now.
guru, i loves you.
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